Searching

I have spent my life on a constant mission. Searching for something. Sometimes I know what I am searching for and sometimes I am just on a blind trek. Often, I am on a search for myself. Life is hard and complicated and somewhere along the journey, you lose pieces of yourself. You lose your security when you leave home for the first time, whether it is to be out on your own or to go to college. You lose a big piece of your heart to your first love and most are not with that love forever. As a woman, I lost my name the day I got married. I know you don't have to do that, but I did, so I lost that long trusted identifying part of me. Then you have children and as much as they are wanted and loved, you become a parent and there is no turning back. I lost the woman I was before Mama. Now I am losing my youth and exhuberance and there is no turning back. So, I am on a mission. A mission to find the woman I was once. The one that I loved being and miss so often. I may make mistakes along the way, but I am only human. So wish me luck on this long journey. I pray that one day I can announce that I have arrived.