Resolution

Each year at this time, people sit around pondering what it is they can decide to do or not do that will make them better people. Most changes will only last two weeks at the most and then it is back to the same old thing that they always do. I, too, have been guilty of that in the past. Not this year. Resolutions to me seem like prohibiting myself from making choices. I don't get to rationalize what the better choice is because I have simply resolved not to do it. It is kind of like when your parents ground you. They take away your TV for a month; this will actually work to better your life, however, you didn't make the choice of your own free will to spend more time with books and less with TV, so when that month is up, you overdose on TV time. When you go on a diet, you deprive your body of things that it has become accustom to having. Yes, it may be a better thing, but instead of choosing to lessen your intake of the bad, you just say no more. Well, once you become tired of that, you over-indulge in those bad things almost to a point of gluttony. This year, I have resolved to make better choices in my life. That still leaves the choice part to me. If I make better choices, then the rest will fall into place. I will be healthier, maybe thinner, have better relationships, maybe be nicer (but I wouldn't count too much on that one). All in all, every vice that I may have are choices that I have made. I did not wake up one day as this person. Every fork I came to in the road, I made a choice as to which route to take and it got me here. Now I could backtrack and re-evaluate my life to exhaustion or I can just accept the past and make a real effort at making smarter choices. I am going to pick the later. If you like me, then chances are, you will continue to do so, whether my vices stay or go. If you don't like me, maybe you will start to, but honestly, one of my better choices is choosing to put me first and the opinions of outside entities can't and don't matter. If I died tomorrow, I just want to be remembered as a woman who lived her life to her fullest ability, with no regrets and as a friend said recently, "full of piss and vinegar". I want the idea of me to bring a smile to people's faces and if I can do that, for whatever reason, then I have been a success. Mostly, I resolve that this won't be my last year on this Earth, so don't think that you will be rid of me so fast. I still have plenty of soapbox rants left in me, plenty of opinions left to share and hopefully lots of smiles and laughs to produce. This is going to be a good year.